Date: April 2, 2004
April 2.2004
Baseball is back, thank you very much! Personally, I think baseball's Opening Day should be a national holiday.
Here in Michigan, the Tigers are theoretically much-improved over last year's debacle, when they came within a pop fly of having the worst record in the major leagues ... ever, and they've been playing this game since the late 1800s. Only time will tell if the team is truly any better. Until then, I'll keep my eyes peeled for any of the signs below.
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TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAVORITE TEAM IS IN FOR ANOTHER LOSING SEASON
10. The team has lowered ticket prices for the fifth year in a row.
9. The franchise's biggest corporate sponsor is Girl Scout Troop #122.
8. The team bus is a 1996 Chevy minivan.
7. The manager is spotted in the dugout during a game reading the "Help Wanted" ads.
6. The umpires decide to give your guys four strikes per at-bat.
5. The players' favorite song is "Take Me Out OF the Ballgame."
4. Vegas bookies refuse to give odds on the team going to the World Series on the basis that if anyone won, it would bankrupt the planet.
3. The concession stands sell crow.
2. The highest paid player on the team is a multithousandaire.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR FAVORITE TEAM IS IN FOR ANOTHER LOSING SEASON?
1. Your local paper puts game coverage in the obituary section.
[written by Mark Raymond for the Flint Friday Funny]
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Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks ... oh, and have a great week, remembering to be kind to one another!
Mark
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WEB SITE of the WEEK: Perhaps more than any other sport, baseball takes to radio
like a duck takes to water. And speaking of radio (oh, was that smooth?), you can find
dozens of classic radio shows at
www.radiolovers.com. The shows are free, and you don't even have to register
at the site. Just click, sit back while it loads, and enjoy. Comedy, Drama,
Mystery, Variety Shows, Science Fiction, Westerns, Music and just about anything
that used to float your boat.
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To subscribe to the Flint Friday
Funny, visit my self built tacky web site. To change your e-mail
address or unsubscribe, use one of the links below. To contact the author,
e-mail Mark Raymond.
To throw a curveball, align the first two fingers of your throwing hand along
the line of the seam on the baseball, now crack your wrist downward through the
ball while throwing it. MY PRIVACY PROMISE: Your e-mail address is safe. 'Nuff
said.
You can forward or reprint this post freely but please, oh please keep the credits attached. You know I do the same for you. Original material and commentary © 2004 by Mark Raymond for the Flint Friday Funny. My personal mission statement is John 3:30. My last haircut was in September of 2002.
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QUOTE of the WEEK: "Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It
means you think of yourself less." (Ken Blanchard)
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