Date: March 26, 2004
March 26.2004
Right to the funny stuff this week.
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TOP 10 WAYS TO TELL IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD DAY
10. You receive a letter from your accountant ... postmarked in Zurich.
9. Your suggestion box is ticking.
8. Your credit card statement shows a charge from a tattoo parlor on the day you loaned the VISA to your daughter so she could go to the movies.
7. Your wife gets a sympathy card on your anniversary.
6. You wake up to a terrible smell in the furnace vents and you remember the family hamster has been missing for a week.
5. The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.
4. An agent from the Internal Revenue Service calls just to say he's added you to his speed dial list.
3. You go see your doctor for the blood test results and the receptionist says, "Oh good, we've been trying to reach you."
2. When you get to the office you have three voicemails. One from the FBI, one from the District Attorney, and one from CBS.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD DAY?
1. The morning paper prints a sketch of last night's murder suspect and it looks eerily familiar. Suddenly your phone starts ringing.
[Pastor Tim's Cleanlaugh with edits and additions by Mark Raymond]
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Well, here's hoping your Friday is a good day and your weekend is even better.
I'll see you next week, and until then, be good to each other!
Mark
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WEB SITE of the WEEK: The United States Government offers a virtual library of handbooks, brochures, pamphlets, flyers, etc. on just about any topic you're likely to encounter in life and they are almost all free. You can find them at the Federal Citizen Information Center (in Colorado) at http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov.
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QUOTE of the WEEK: "A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future." (Sydney J. Harris)