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Date: November 10, 2004
Subject: Joke for Your Day/Wed.Nov.10.2004

 

Anybody know Chris Van Rossman? He made the papers early last month just by watching TV. Unbeknownst to him, his television set malfunctioned and began transmitting an electronic signal at 121.5 megahertz. Emitting electrical signals is what appliances do, so no big deal, right?

Wrong. That frequency is (or, rather, was) the one used for emergency distress signals worldwide. According to The New York Times, his TV's signal bounced off two satellites, alerted personnel at Langley Air Force Base in Virginia, and finally led to a bunch of local sheriff's, deputies, and Civil Air Patrol volunteers to the door of his apartment. There he was told that even turning his television on could lead to a fine of $10,000 per day for sending out a false distress signal.

The frequency is being phased out because it is a common one for electrical appliances - including televisions, refrigerators, microwaves, ATM machines, vacuums, and even electric shavers - to slip into when they malfunction. And, in fact, it can now lead to dire consequences. In researching this story, I read of one 34-foot troller in Alaska that went down with its captain because the Coast Guard picked up its distress signal on the 121.5mhz level and didn't take it seriously enough. Apparently 97% of signals sent on the 121.5 band are false.

If anyone on my list owns a boat - or knows someone who owns a boat - please check your EPIRB (Emergency Position Indicator Radio Beams) to make sure it's set for the new frequency of 406 megahertz.

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REJECTED TITLES FOR AN AMISH REALITY SHOW

Whilst Thou Was Out

The Really, Really Simple Life

That 1870s Show

Battle Buggies

Must-Not-See TV

The Amazing Grace

My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Barn

Survivor: Pennsylvania

 

[Chris White's Little Fivers: TV, with additional titles by Mark Raymond]

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WONDER for YOUR DAY: Why is it called a television "set" when you only get one?

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Mark!

 

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