Date: September 13, 2004
Chris Dean and Mike Dudek, two teenagers from the Grand Rapids area here in Michigan, recently set a Guiness World Record by watching television for 52 straight hours at a local International House of Pancakes restaurant. They had to use the "I-HOP" because Guiness says all records must be set in public. The two took shots of syrup to stay awake.
Dean's parents told the press they were proud of their son, saying, "He has to be good at something."
Beats just sitting around and doing nothing, I guess. Oh, wait....
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THINGS WE HOPE OUR CHILDREN NEVER DISCOVER
The eyes in the back of our heads are only 20/40.
We can't wait until you're old enough to move out, too.
Doing chores has no effect whatsoever on building character.
When we were your age, we watched just as much TV ... maybe more!
The Tooth Fairy is funded by the American Dental Association.
All those tee-ball games, dance recitals, school plays, band concerts, spelling bees and graduation exercises? We napped through 'em all.
Starving orphans in Ethiopia hate asparagus, too.
When we were kids, school was really just down the block.
[Chris White's Little Fivers, with edits and additions by Mark Raymond]
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WORD for YOUR DAY: Long time readers of this post know I have drawn upon words from both Olde English and Modern English. There is, however, a "Middle English" language from which today's word comes. "Fenden" meant to ward off and it eventually became the word "forfend" which means to protect, prohibit, or prevent. As in, "Heaven forfend our little girl ever dates that boy!"
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Mark!
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